Holding On and Letting Go
by Callieisluv
Summary: As the oldest child of Tommy Dreamer, Ally grew up on the road. She spent most of her life in love with Cody Runnels. But when they grow apart, she's left heartbroken. Now, she's about to reunite with him and old friend Ted Dibiase Jr in the WWE. But some thing's changed with her and Ted now that they're older. She's going to have to decide between first love and love unexpected.
1. Prologue

**Prologue: **

When I was ten years old, my father took me to see the Broadway musical "West Side Story". Now this was a big deal at the time because if you knew my father, you'd know that he isn't fond of musicals. But, it was my birthday, and it was the first year in a long time where we were doing well enough financially for him to do something special.

I remember being so excited. Grandma had done my hair in this pretty French braid, and I wore the new dress Grandpa bought me as a birthday present, a red velvet frock that didn't look too childish, but still retained it's wearer's innocence. And Dad had worn a suit and tie, the first time I had ever seen him in one.

Times were a little more difficult back then. I was an only child, and my father was a single parent since my mother had run off long before I was old enough to remember her. When I think back on it, I can't say I fully blame her. Being a parent at only eighteen years old isn't easy, especially when you had always been selfish and impulsive before.

Dad wasn't though. He had stepped up the plate admirably, and I hero worshipped him. He was determined to not only raise me as a single parent, on the road no less, but pursue his dreams at the same time. That kind of love, dedication and perseverance is what makes him the best man I know. And the fact that he went out of his way to take me to a Broadway musical on my tenth Birthday, when money used to be tight and it really wasn't something he enjoyed, made me realize just how lucky I was.

I sat through the performance in silent awe. The music alone was fantastic, but I fell in love with the ill-fated romance of Tony and Maria. In the weeks following I daydreamed of having the kind of love Tony and Maria had, and sang 'One Hand, One Heart' repetitively until my father threatened to go insane if I didn't pick a different song. But in my mind, I wasn't singing to my own imaginable Tony. I was singing to Cody Runnels, the boy of my preteen dreams.

I have only loved two boys my entire life. Cody was first, and I loved him in a way you can only do the first time. It's the kind of love that's fearless, a little foolish and all consuming. It's the one time only thing, because when it falls apart, it's the worst kind of pain. And from there on out, you're more cautious in loving again.

And then, there was Ted. I had known Ted just as long as Cody and he was the kind of love that sneaks up on you. The kind that you don't even know is happening until it's too late and you've already fallen. It comes to you in an epiphany and it scares the crap out of you until you learn to accept it. Ted didn't just know the girl I used to be, he saw the woman that I became, and loved me just the same.

In my heart, I knew I loved them both, as much as it was possible to love two people at the same time. And love isn't something you can erase, no matter how badly you want to. I never meant for it to come down to this, a choice. But I'm going to have to confront my feelings and decide once and for all. And in doing so, I'm going to break one of their hearts.


	2. Chapter One

**Chapter One: **

_November 5, 1992_

The clock was ticking towards 4AM as Thomas James Laughlin, buckled his five year old daughter into her car seat in the back of his Oldesmobile Cutlass. She hadn't stirred since he had come into her bedroom and lifted her tiny, slumbering body from bed and bundled her into her winter parka. It had always amazed him how soundly she slept. Even as an infant she had slept through the night, hardly disturbing his own rest.

His mother's footsteps crunched over the light coating of frost on the sidewalk. She wore a long winter coat over her pajamas and carried a travel mug full of coffee. "Tommy?" She questioned him with sleepy, brown eyes. "Are you sure you want to do this? She can stay with us you know? She'll learn to adjust and-"

"Mom," Tommy gratefully took the coffee and kissed her cheek. "You know she gets upset when I'm on the road. She won't even settle in her kindergarten class. Dusty Rhodes has set me up with a good tutor. This way she can be home schooled and I can keep her on the road with me."

"Well," She sighed, knowing how stubborn her son and her granddaughter could be. "I still don't think traveling on the road with a bunch of wrestlers is the right place for a little girl."

"It's probably not. But there are a few kids that travel with us, and she won't be alone." Tommy shivered, wishing he'd remembered to put on another sweatshirt beneath his jacket. "And to be honest, I hate leaving her behind when I travel. This is going to work, I promise."

"Well, all right." She gave his forearm a quick, affectionate rub. "You better get on the road if you're going to make it to Connecticut on time. But the offer still stands Tommy, if it becomes too much, Allison is more than welcome to stay with us and go to school here."

"I know." Tommy smiled. "But you and Dad have done a lot for us ever since she was born. We'll be back to visit in a week or so."

"All right. Good look in your tournament tonight." She stepped back onto the sidewalk as he thanked her and climbed into the driver's seat, sighing in relief at the heat emanating from the car's radiator.

He gave her a final wave, before he put the car into drive and started off on the long journey to Wallingford, Connecticut from Yonkers, New York. Factoring in traffic, Tommy decided it was better to be early than late, especially when he was in the main event against Mr. USA Tony Atlas, to determine the first World Heavyweight Champion in the CWA.

Tommy glanced in the rearview mirror at his sleeping child and smiled. When Susan Bates, his high school girlfriend had come to him before graduation to tell him she was pregnant, Tommy had been scared out of his wits. He was eighteen, already taking wrestling classes after school and planning on going into the Independent circuits once he had his diploma. A baby had not been on his agenda at all. But, his father had raised him to be responsible and he stood by Susan throughout her entire pregnancy. He had even begun to look forward to being a Dad when he looked at the pictures from her ultrasounds.

Then on December 12, 1987, the nurse placed a squalling baby, all bundled up in a pink blanket, into his arms and Tommy Laughlin fell in love for the first time. He named her Allison Catherine, after his mother's favorite singer Allison Kraus, and his father's mother Catherine Laughlin. He had been devoted to her completely, whereas Susan, who had always been vain, selfish and impulsive, was not.

Susan had planned to go to LA after graduation. She wanted to be an actress, and the more diapers she had to change, the more resentful she got. After Allison was born, Tommy and Susan began to fight more and more, and Allison lived with Tommy at his parent's house. He hadn't even been surprised when Susan finally ran off before Ally's first birthday. She had gone to LA to pursue her dreams, no thought to the daughter she left behind. No forwarding address, no phone number, nothing. So with the help of his parents, Tommy was a single father, and he liked it that way if he was honest with himself. His little girl was just as attached to him as he was to her.

Which was why taking her on the road with him from now on, hadn't been a hard decision to make. Every day he spent away from Allison was hard on him, and his mentor Dusty Rhodes, who had two sons of his own, understood completely.

"_Tommy?" Dustin Runnels, known better by his ring name The American Dream Dusty Rhodes, approach the young, up and coming superstar after one of the CWA shows. "You look upset about something. What's wrong?" _

"_Oh?" Tommy looked startled as he studied the gentle brown eyes of in the pudgy face of his friend. "Nothing. I just miss my daughter." _

"_You have a daughter?" Dusty exclaimed, a look of surprise creasing his face. "How old? You're so young and-" _

"_She's five." Tommy replied. "She's an High School Oops, to be honest, but I don't regret it. She's everything to me, best thing that's ever happened to me. And it's so hard leaving her at home with my parents." _

"_I know what you mean." Dusty nodded empathetically. "I missed the early years of my son Dustin's childhood being on the road. I'm so glad they're traveling with me now. I don't miss as much." _

"_You're a lucky man, to have them close." Tommy sighed. "My mother keeps calling me because Allison's having trouble adjusting to kindergarten. Then I guess she cries for me when she gets home. I hate not being there for her." _

_Dusty frowned at the obvious guilt his young protégé was experiencing. "Tommy, why don't you bring her on the road with you then? The tutor that's teaching my boys wouldn't mind another student and she's only a couple years younger than my Cody. They could play together." _

_Tommy's eyes widened at the idea sat with him. "You think that could work?" _

"_Sure. Ted Dibiaise's sons travel too, Ted Jr., Brett and Mike are around a lot. Even Bob Orton's kids are around on occasion. She'd have some other kids around to play with and lots of kids are home schooled these days." Dusty assured him. "Think about it, especially if she's really unhappy with your parents and public school." _

Four hours later, nearly in Wallingford, Tommy heard stirring in the backseat and glanced in the rearview mirror, to see his child rubbing sleep out of her eyes with her hands. "Good morning Daddy!"

The smile that appeared on Tommy's face was full of love. "Morning Allybear. How's my best girl?"

"Good." She glanced out the car window at the passing scenery and yawned. "Are we almost there?"

"Soon. About ten more minutes." He told her. "There's some orange juice and some bagged cereal right next to your car seat. Grandma packed it for you."

"Grandma thinks of everything! She's so smart." Ally rustled through the bag beside her, pulling out the sippy cup of orange juice and little ziplock bag of lucky charms.

"Yes, she is." Tommy chuckled at the response. "Are you sure you want to come with me and not still stay with Grandma and Grandpa, Allybear?"

"I love Grandma and Grandpa, Daddy!" Ally said around a mouthful of cereal. "But I want to be with you. I love you more!"

"I love you too, Allybear." He hit the right turn signal and prepared to exit the highway when he saw signs for Wallingford. "You're my best girl. And we're going to make this work, okay?"

"Okay Daddy! Are we almost there?"

* * *

Tommy headed to the down the hall of Wallingford High School, which was hosting tonight's CWA event in their gymnasium. He had left Ally in the care of Dusty Rhodes and the tutor, a young British man named Andrew Lloyd, in order to go properly warm up and go over tonight's match with Tony Atlas. By now, the tutoring sessions were mostly likely over and the kids would be running around the classrooms playing around.

"We're going to play X-men!" He heard one of the boys announce as he neared one of the larger rooms. "I call being Wolverine!"

"I'm Cyclops!" Another voice chimed in.

"I'm calling dibs on Gambit!" The oldest boy, who he recognized as Bob Orton's son Randy, age twelve, stood on top of the desk. "He's the coolest anyway!"

"No way!" Dusty's seven year old son, Cody, argued. "Cyclops is way better!"

"You're both dumb, Wolverine, is the man!" Ted Jr., two years younger than Randy at ten, shook his head. "Brett's going to want to Magneto."

"That's okay, Nathan likes Beast." Randy nodded.

"So what about her?" Cody pointed to the far corner of the classroom where Ally stood, watching the older boys with wide, nervous eyes.

"Don't be dumb, girls don't like to play X-men!" Ted shook his head.

"Well we can't just leave her out." Cody shook his head. "That's mean." And in a move that touched Tommy's heart, he turned and approached Ally. "Do you want to play?"

"I don't know how." Ally admitted in a shy, little voice.

"I'll teach you!" Cody grinned at her, revealing his missing front tooth. "You can be Jean Grey! She can move stuff with her mind."

Ally's eyes widened at the thought of someone able to do that. "Really?"

"She's also Cyclops' girlfriend!" Ted announced with a little smirk. "So that means you get to be Cody's girlfriend!"

"Ted, don't be a buttface!" Randy jumped down off the desk. "She can play. But Cody, since you're Cyclops, you have to show her how. It's cool that she even wants to, my sister only plays with dolls."

Tommy leaned against the doorframe and grinned when Cody agreed to teach Ally how to play X-Men with them. Even Ted seemed to warm up to the idea of her playing after they started and Ally used her imagination to keep up with them.

"See?" Dusty appeared on his left. "She fits right in."

"Thanks to your son." Tommy chuckled. "Cody's a good kid."

"His Mama is raising him right." Dusty grinned proudly. "He'll keep an eye on little Ally, and so will Randy when he's around. He has a younger sister too, so he's used to having girls around. And she's a sweetheart, your daughter is."

"My pride and joy." Tommy agreed. "I feel much better knowing she's actually playing with the kids here. That was her biggest problem in school, she was painfully shy."

"Cody was like that too." Dusty told him. "But Randy and Ted bring him out of it. And now he's coming full circle by helping Ally come out of her shell. This is going to work Tommy, you'll see."

"The crowd's coming in soon, who's going to watch the kids?" Tommy asked, an anxious look appearing on his face.

"Elaine Orton, Bob's wife." Dusty assured him. "She's bringing them dinner and will keep an eagle eye on them, don't you worry. Just focus on your match. You're making history tonight, remember? Ally will be well looked after."

"I trust you."

* * *

"Hey!" Ally looked up as Cody, the boy who had included her earlier, sat down beside her after Mrs. Orton brought them dinner. "I have comic books!" He said, placing the colorful books on the little table in front of them. "I thought you might want to see what Jean Grey looks like."

"I do!" Ally nodded quickly, her chestnut colored hair swinging with the movement. "I like playing X-Men it's fun."

"X-Men is the coolest!" Cody agreed, flipping through a couple pages before pointing to a beautiful redhead woman in one of the pictures. "That's Jean Grey!"

"She's so pretty, like my Grandma!" Ally exclaimed. "I hope I get to be that pretty someday!"

Cody made a face, not particularly liking the turn their conversation was taking. "I'm sure you'll be just as pretty when you grow up." He said quickly. "And look," He pointed to the man beside her to get back to the X-Men. "That's Cyclops! See that thing over his eyes? That's what he shoots the lazer out of!"

"He's so cool!" Ally nodded, leaning closer to the comic. "Is he your favorite?"

"Yeah, I always play Cyclops when we play X-Men." Cody grinned, showing his missing tooth again. "I don't want to play anyone else."

"Well," Ally looked at him hesitantly. "Then can I always be Jean Grey when we play?"

Cody looked at her with kind an impressed expression. "Sure. You're the only girl who plays, so you can always be Jean."

"Thank you, Cody!" Ally's smile stretched wide across her face and Cody found he liked making her smile. "Can we be friends?"

Cody laughed a little. "We already are, Silly. We played X-Men together. That makes you my friend."

"Oh! Okay!" Ally giggled a little. "So what are we going to play now?"


End file.
